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We sent an email to our e-newsletter mailing list asking for responders’ stories of what they have done to help themselves and their families feel better, and what tips and advice they had for other responders. An overwhelming number of you responded and we are sharing just a few excerpts below, categorized by the types of strategies responders found helpful. Responders’ names, when listed, are accompanied by their roles in 9/11 response work, and their current locations.
Self-expression and Communication
I have never been an emotional person, but I've always loved America and have served this country in many ways. There was a profound change in me after 9/11. Whenever I see or hear anything patriotic I get emotional and the tears start to flow.
I believe that the only reason I've done better than others emotionally is because of my wife. While I was packing my duffel bag that morning (of 9/11) she handed me a notebook and a camera. My response was, "That's the last thing I'm going to need," and tossed them back on the bed.
When the team was ready to leave Indianapolis, my wife handed me the notebook again and made me promise to write something down every day. Without my knowledge, she tucked the camera in the bag and told me on my first call home that it was there if I wanted it. I knew her reason for the notebook and camera was because of my reluctance to talk about tragedies. She thought this was going to be so much worse that anything I've responded to and thought it would be helpful. She was right as usual.
The week after I came home my wife asked me to put my thoughts on paper for family history. I declined, but she then struck a deal—if I talked, she would type. The camera and notebook turned out to be invaluable.
My wife turned the words and pictures into these notes, along with a scrapbook, and a Powerpoint presentation. I soon discovered that the more I talked about 9/11, the better I felt. Even after giving 250 presentations in five states, it's still emotional for me and the audience. The invitations to talk about 9/11 and requests to look at the Powerpoint and scrapbook continue, and my love for America remains stronger than ever.
George Callahan
Indiana Task Force 1, Urban Search and Rescue
Lawrence, IN
One of the things I have found that helps me to get more clarity on my feelings [about 9/11] and sort them out is by drawing or painting. By putting these feelings on paper and making decisions on how to portray them I think there is a process of acceptance and a feeling of things being finished. I have quite few drawings dealing with the event. Many of them are gruesome and disturbing but I guess that is a more personal part of the process.
However, this one was the very first I did in response to 9/11 and was meant from the start to be shared. The original I placed on the fence outside of St. Paul's Church during the time it was thickly clustered with many memorials. Someone removed that one but I have copies since I had it scanned to digital format.
These cartoon characters I call Beople and I've done quite a few other works using them but this one was very difficult and emotional for me. I can't fully describe how I felt while I was drawing it other than to say I was stepping on holy ground. I was afraid that people would get angry at me making light of such a horrific event but isn't that what we need to do? Don't we need to find a way to remove the great weight of terror and realize we can celebrate those peoples lives and the simple things they did before the buildings turned to dust?
So I show them as they might still be - in office buildings in heaven doing what office people do.
Joseph McCauley
Computer Technician for the Office of Emergency Management
Brooklyn, NY
I have since retired in 2005 and I am working in a High School in Florida as Head of Security. I have the poster the NYPD distributed of the members of the service that made the ultimate sacrifice that morning. I tell their stories to the students and the parents….Telling their stories help keep them alive in my mind.
It took me almost six years to get over the guilt of being a survivor and the emptiness of the loss of so many friends and co-workers. I still carry the pain and the scars with me today. We were given a present from above to still be here and to tell the stories of our friends that left us way to early. I never take any day for granted now, each second if a gift. I wish all that were affected by this tragic event the best of luck for peace and to live a life that is some what normal. Please know, there are thousands of us out there that carry the same weight on our shoulder from that day, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Love your family and enjoy each second we have with them, be it good or bad. God Bless and Good Luck.
Richard Wentz
NYPD Detective
Coral Springs, FL
I found that by writing my experience down my mind no longer needed to visualize or review the events of that day. By writing my story down, I didn't repress my feelings, rather I "filed" it in a healthy place thus allowing me to move forward with my life.
Here is my personal experience of September 11, 2001.
David Sutton
Paramedic
Brooklyn, NY
Physical exercise and well-being
I started to practice breathing exercises every day.
Marcial Rosado, Jr.
Parole Officer
Bronx, NY
Spirituality
What saved me, both emotionally and spiritually is my fellowship. I’m a member of a 12-step fellowship and I was able to attend meetings…while at Ground Zero…. I have continued to attend meetings and talk about what is happening in my life.
Pablo Torres
Telephone Splicer
Bronx, NY
Prayer.
Anonymous
Therapy and/or Medication
I have my up and downs during the times of the memorials every year it seams to come back and I relive it all over again. I still see a social worker and a doctor and take my medications as prescribed and some how try to push on every day never forgetting the pain I still feel inside of me.
Gregory Lella
Technical Services Department Employee
Staten Island, NY
Volunteering and Serving others
I still suffer from anxiety and health issues, but I found through helping others that my problems were no longer centered on myself. I reached out to people in pain, volunteering in a hospital trauma emergency department where I work directly with patients and their families, doctors, nurses, and law enforcement. It is my job as a volunteer liaison to comfort and calm those in pain and filled with fear. I understand fear and I understand pain. I also volunteer for the local police department driving a squad car and working on the streets helping to bring safety to our community. My sense of safety was destroyed, thus I reach out to bring safety to others. I work at a local fire department as the incident commander of the CERT (Community Emergency Response Team) trained to actively participate in rescue and search in disasters locally.
It is all about reaching out to others and learning from what we endured and are still enduring. In the smallest way I work every day to make a difference and to recover slowly from 9/ll. This isn’t going to happen overnight but it will happen and through it I have gained a lot of wisdom and hope that we can in some small way make a difference in this time of so much hate and fear.
Patch Guglielmino
Volunteer
Healdsburg, CA
As a survivor and responder, I had a difficult time for a while. The mental effects of my 9-11 experience started shortly after I stopped working at Ground Zero in June of 2002. We left NY for Florida. My sleep patterns were disrupted, I had tremendous anxiety and I could not focus on my job (which was developing training in public safety, emergency management and disaster response). Then physical problems started, including increased allergies/hypersensitivity, asthma and other respiratory problems. The physical problem were easy…doctors, antibiotics, allergy shots, steroids.
The mental problems were less easy. The thing that really helped was actually getting back into disaster response. In 2004, my region of Florida was struck by back-to-back major hurricanes. I volunteered with the Red Cross and became the Mass Care Officer for two Florida counties. That was better than counseling. This really forced me to get my focus back. Since then, I've been able to revitalize my business focus and started to re-engage in the public safety sector. I've gone back to "real" work and have run operations during Katrina in Mississippi, Gustav in New Orleans and other major disasters. I continue to work as an emergency management consultant, trainer and planner.
9-11 actually made me stronger for these other events. I now see hurricanes, earthquakes, etc., as natural and "normal" events that are understandable; unlike 9-11. Though it does nothing to lessen the suffering of those affected....it makes it easier for me to deal with. 9-11 also showed me the importance of giving back to my community. My experience volunteering for the Red Cross continues, I helped found the local county VOAD (Voluntary Organizations Active in Disaster) chapter and I teach regular seminars on disaster preparedness for our local chamber of commerce. All of these things, plus my day to day job, help me keep 9-11 in perspective and be part of something greater than myself.
Paul Seldes
Rescue, Recovery and Logistics Worker, and Volunteer
Vero Beach, FL
Multiple strategies-- keeping positive memories and thoughts about 9/11, family support, expressing grief, positive thinking, and therapy
I believe that the two most important things that got me past that ill-fated day were my wife's ability and strength to be by my side on, during and after 9/11. The 2nd most important thing was that I finally realized that I was emotionally drained and needed help. For me help came in the way of reaching out to WTC Medical treatment program and getting the help I needed. Talking with doctors and coming to terms with what really happened that day was very beneficial to my mental stability and recovery.
G. R.
NYPD Detective
New York City
That July or August (after 9/11), I went with my son who was about 12 and his friend to the Grand Canyon. We hiked down to the river and got on a raft and spent the next 8 or 9 days in the canyon. It was really nice there and I got a lot of time to myself. I cried a lot and thought about friends I had lost in the attack but there where times down there when it was the most quiet and peaceful place in the world It really did help me get on with life.
David Howard
Electrical Superintendent
Greenlawn, NY
I am a trauma psychologist who was also traumatized from working as a First Responder at the WTC. The following is a list of what I found personally helpful in dealing with the effect the experience had and is having on me:
- Practice mindfulness throughout any part of my day by using all my senses to be in the current moment
- Notice when I am turning away from my wife and family and turn toward them when I am able
- Find times when I am alone and /or times when I am with a special trusted person (wife, therapist, best friend, fellow survivor) and allow my self to feel the pain of my memory of the WTC
- Write to my self about the experience with the option of sending it to a person I trust
- Attend support/religious services focused on the tragedy
- Find healthy outlets for my anger and connect it with my experience of the WTC
- Regularly spend time focusing on a positive outlook of my future
- Remember what I am grateful for
Dr. Michael Libertazzo
Volunteer
Princeton, NJ
I would like to tell fellow participants that the road can be rocky at times, but I believe we can take small steps in a healthier direction towards feeling better. Cognitive therapy, strong family values, positive thinking, & most of all bringing a higher power into our lives if we have not already.
Adam Cuniglio
Verizon Field Technician and Volunteer
Brooklyn, NY
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